Make an abrupt, unsteady, uncontrolled movement.

Lurching.

That is pretty much how I feel.

Seven weeks ago I moved out of my home – we had made a decision to move North – to be nearer to my Mum – our house sold and we have the cash – great – we have spent 3 weeks on holiday – fab – for the first 3 weeks of being ‘homeless’ I was living with my mum but I was at work all day – now – well now is less ok.

So I am at home with my Mum and my older brother – and I am lurching from one emotion to another – I want to be here but I cannot stand being controlled all of the time.

I need to settle – I need to be in my own home – I need to be in control.

I want to be close to mum BUT I need to have my life where I can make a decision and do what I want – leave things untidy if I want – wash what I want and when I want – go out or stay in or go to the shops or – well I just want to be in control nothing more and nothing less – not this constant need to move out of the way.

 

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